The first date: few things can simultaneously be so exciting and such a source of anxiety for guys. Meeting a new person can be a stressful situation, but there are some simple things that can take a lot of the guesswork out of a first date. Like with so many things it pays to have a plan, so here at the EveryGuyed Network we assembled a list of Five Tips for a Great First Date.
1. Pick A Location You’ll Be Comfortable In
It’s natural to be nervous about a first date, but there’s a big difference between being nervous pre-date, and being nervous during your date. The less comfortable you are, the less comfortable she’ll be.
Where you decide to have the date makes a huge difference. Choose a spot you love and already feel comfortable in, since not only will it help relax you, it will give her an immediate idea of who you are. A familiar restaurant, a local park or a favorite local watering-hole are all great choices. Make the moment relaxed and easy, you don’t need to make any grand statements right off the bat. Give her the chance to see you for the first time in your element. Where she sees you is how she sees you.
2. Have a Plan
We’re not saying you need to hand her an itinerary at the start of the date, but you never want to be that guy constantly looking at her questioningly for approval with every suggestion. Just like you should pick a place you’ll be comfortable in, you should make sure you have a back up. There are a million random things that can happen; whether it’s a unscheduled drum circle at your favorite coffee shop, or just the fact that the date’s going so well you closed out the first venue. Uncertainty is a romance killer on a first date.
A firrst date is seldom perfect, but there’s a lot you can do make it a great one
3. Listen to Her
You might be worried that you’re going to run out of things to say, but a surefire way to avoid this is to fight the temptation to tell your life story and focus on getting to know her. Besides taking the pressure of you’re having to talk, there’s sure to be some conversation points that you can engage with personally. That’s how you stay present in conversations and that’s how you build a rapport. Most guys don’t think they talk too much on a first date, but you’d be surprised at how strong the instinct to ‘sell yourself’ to someone is. Relax and let her do the talking for awhile.
The difference between a meeting and a date is attraction, and all attraction depends on a connection between you and your date. Granted, attraction has countless facets, but one of the key elements is touch. How someone responds to even the most casual contact is a huge part of reading the levels of attraction. So many dates are focused on the ‘goodnight kiss’, when what you should really be thinking about is a casual brush of the arm or a lean inward while talking. This body language is as important as any conversation, and ultimately it’s this ‘conversation’ that will ensure a kiss at the end of the night.
be comfortable, stay present, be a gentlemen and have a plan
5. Pick up the Check
This one’s a non-negotiable. Always offer to pay for the date. If you’ve been following this list, you probably didn’t pick a 5-star restaurant for your first meeting so how bad could the damage be? Some people consider it old-fashioned, but we thing it’s old-fashioned in the best way. It’s a confident move and one that’s essential (particularly if you asked her out). Your date, your treat.
If she insists on splitting the bill, offer to pay again in case she’s just being polite herself. Unless her body language indicates she doesn’t mind, never outright refuse repeated offers from her to contribute. Too many times a guy has dismissed a girl’s money thinking he’s being chivalrous when he just wasn’t paying attention to what kind of person she is.
With the right approach, you can turn that potentially awkward first date into an awesome, fun, exciting experience. Just remember: be comfortable, stay present, be a gentlemen and have a plan. For additional, effective dating tips, visit our friends over at the Art of Charm.
Latest posts by Erik Adler (see all)
- Documentary: The Congo’s Extraordinarily Dapper “Sapeurs” - November 22, 2014
- Raf Simons for Adidas Fall/Winter 2014 Footwear Collection - November 20, 2014
- Video: Mr. Porter & Drake’s of London “How to Fold a Pocket Square” - November 19, 2014