Body language, if ‘spoken’ the proper way, can have you articulating your way into a dream job, brushing shoulders with social elites, and believe it or not altering the way other people perceive you.
But, and there is a ‘but’, if body language is spoken poorly and your body fails to translate self-confidence, self-comfort, and self-control, you’re inadvertently making things harder for yourself.
Everyguyed has compiled a list of 5 Acts Of Body Language To Avoid so you can start on your way to being a more confident, communicative you.
Avoiding Eye Contact
Ah, a top trait of a liar! In Western culture, avoiding eye contact enunciates disrespect, low self-confidence and low self-control.
And hey, we understand locking eyes with another human being is an intimate act; however, it’s every reason why you need to add it into our body language lexicon.
How is your potential boss or love interest going to know you’re level of interest if you are looking the other way, or at the ground?
Be a man of confidence, respect, and control and start to look people in the eye.
It might seem odd at first, since so many people truly and unknowingly avoid eye contact, but you’ll get used to it. Just don’t spook people out and turn everything into a staring contest, those people are downright creepy and you don’t want that, do you?
How is your potential boss or love interest going to know you’re level of interest if you are looking the other way, or at the ground?
Crossing Your Arms
If body language was a religion, ‘crossing arms’ would be a deadly sin.
The act of crossing your arms conveys ‘resistance against’ or ‘disapproval of’ any person, place, or thing you encounter.
It gives the impression that you have something to hide or are ‘threatened’, which for the most part, is the last idea you want in the head of whomever you encounter.
It’s an easy position to fall into, so if you catch yourself crossing your arms, simply move them to your side, unless you want to tell the whole world to know how much you despise what is in front of you.
As an added bonus, uncrossing your arms expands your chest, giving you more presence and height!
The act of crossing your arms conveys ‘resistance against’ or ‘disapproval of’ any person, place, or thing you encounter.
Fidgeting
Nervous? Got somewhere better to be? These are all valid thoughts that run through people’s minds who witness the ‘fidgety’ person.
Best advice is to dump fidgeting altogether and if you catch yourself in the act, stop slowly, inhale, and embrace the moment.
Fidgeting tends to attract ‘negative’ attention from others, who in turn take special notice of your quirky behavior.
Most fidgeting is habit-based and inadvertent, so the key here is increasing your consciousness about your movements. Ask a friend if you have a habit you might not know about, and tell them to be brutally honest.
Who wants to be around a guy who pretends he has better things to do?
Nervous? Got somewhere better to be? These are all valid thoughts that run through people’s minds who witness the ‘fidgety’ person.
Creating Personal Space
A man who can’t relax on free land doesn’t deserve any at all. Here we have a typical human mistake where people feel the need to over accommodate others while forgetting about themselves.
This gives the impression that you aren’t entitled to your own personal space and aren’t ‘worthy’, while giving certain individuals royal treatment.
Take up space! Think about how your stance and positioning appear to those around you and alter it accordingly.
Remember, you are a confident lion, not a scared little mouse!
Just don’t overdo it since you’ll run the risk of invading someone else’s space.
Take up space! Think about how your stance and positioning appear to those around you and alter it accordingly.
Fake Smiling
There’s a reason why people say,‘ keep it real,’ and ‘honesty is the best policy’. No fakes! No posers!
And in the realm of body language, fake smiles are at the top of the non-verbal signs of deception. Why pretend? Keep it real and show self-control.
All you have to do is confidently convey your true feelings in a reserved way and people will respect you no matter what.
The truth is hard to come by these days and it will sure set you apart from the rest.
No matter how good you think you are at faking a smile or a laugh, trust us, you aren’t.
Fake smiles are at the top of the non-verbal signs of deception. Why pretend? Keep it real and show self-control.
Summary
And there you have it! Stay above the competition and speak universal body language the right way.
When 90% of communication is non-verbal, it only makes sense to translate your body to the world. And throwing away the 5 Acts of Body Language we posted above is a great start. Practice makes perfect!
- Maintain eye contact
- Don’t Cross your Arms
- Stop Fidgeting
- Be conscious of the space you occupy
- Avoid fake smiling or laughing
Comments
Got a confidence conundrum? Have a tip for conquering a common habit? Let us know!
Author
Latest posts by Sepher Cadiz (see all)
- What to Look for in a Gym Bag - October 15, 2012
- How to Make Yourself More Photogenic - September 18, 2012
- Guide to Sleepwear - January 6, 2011
I think that crossing your arms can be a useful tool in a conversation, but I agree that it’s a bad posture to return to in default. Same with hands in pockets? I also totally agree with the fake smiling.
Yes, very good point. What can I say TC, I agree with you. Not all conversations are pleasant or stimulating!
Thanks for the comment.
Sepher
Great insights! I have noticed/heard of other things as well. While crossing your arms is certainly defensive, even for guys excessively spread legs, especially when learning back in a chair, can be read as being too confrontational. You come across as trying to assert dominance through nonchalance: a real no-no when meeting with the boss or out on a date. Also, keep your hands in front of you. Ideally when sitting you want them below your belly button but above your knees. Placing one arm across your abdomen while busting a lean on it with the opposing elbow, arm pointing toward your face, conveys an impression of thoughtful acceptance.
Make sure you keep your feet pointed in the direction of the person speaking or to whom you’re addressing. This indicates your whole body toward that person, helping to communicate interest and engagement. As a party trick guys, the next time you go out or find yourself in a group of people, take a look at where people are pointing their feet. This is usually a good read on where or to whom they want to go.
If you can remember to always sit-up straight and square your shoulders you’re money!